Curses.

I'm literally losing my mind.

For realz, haha.

I was talking to my friend today, and as I said something, my mind thought,

'hey, that sounds familiar!' and I asked her, "..did I just say that?"

Which she confirmed.

I'm really worried.

Also, I missed my final. I sort of just want to die right now.

Like, really.

ALSO--you know those girls you just want to slap?

Yeah. Me too. I know them too.

:/

ACTUAL EPIPHANY

I realize I already posted today, but the name of my blog is "Epiphanies", and I just got one.

I AM NOT HEAVY RIVER SEDIMENT.

I will NOT settle.

I deserve the best. Just because I get stupid butterflies around some stupid people, doesn't mean I have to settle!

YAY FOR NOT SETTLING!

I love myself right now

.

Pantalones?

So I love talking to my dad about boys and cuss because he is very wise, and doesn't have an aneurysm when I confide something in him and try to find out more about my feeeeeeeelings, like my mother.

So last night I was asking him if it was wrong to think about this boy a lot, and I told him that I've tried really hard not to, I even prayed to stop.

And he said it was wrong. Because I shouldn't be investing so much time in someone who won't do the same.

He said, (as I lamely paraphrase)

"Si no tiene los pantalones to ask you to be his girlfriend, he's not worth it."

&

"When you want something with someone, really want something, you go for it. You ask for it, and you go for it."

And I was like, "Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...you're right."

I know he's right. He's ALWAYS right.

And get this, I secretly have always wanted the guy, THAT guy, THE RIGHT GUY to ask my dad if he can date me before he asked to be my boyfriend, because--that's just adorable.

Oh well though. I want him to know what to do without me telling him.

"I'm going to miss you like a child misses that blanket,

But I've got to move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry."

Foreshadowing

I think I'm going to fail Math.
I hate Math, I hate it so much, even though it's the subject of the sentence, and should be capitalized,
I WON'T CAPITALIZE IT FOR THE REMAINDER OF MY POST!
Because I have that power.
I seriously just get nauseated when I think of it.
I know people always say, "You use math in everything", but I always say, "that's crap."
(in my head of course)
I hate it. And I feel like my posts on here usually hold some sort of reminiscent quality when I read them later;
SO I hope I DON'T fail math by some miracle of love, and read this 2 months from now when I'm done with the class and reassured.
Ef you, math. Ef you and your needy nature;

always needing people to solve your STUPID, UNREALISTIC problems.

Idiot.

I am calling myself an idiot, because this is obviously not a blog.

It is obviously a journal.

I literally have my journal on the Internet.

Such an idiot.

So I haven't written in this journal of mine in about 6 months.

Obviously, that is an exaggeration.

OH MY GOSH--I AM PICKING TANYA UP FROM THE AIRPORT THIS THURSDAY!!

I AM SO EXITED I HAVEN'T SEEN HER FACE IN LITERALLY OVER A YEAR.

A YEAR

Oh man. Parka's coming. At least he said he would. He better or I'll get lost on the freeway I know it. Ha.

Oh man so much has happened in my life. But guess what, I don't know who actually reads these, (I know no one "follows" but people could read this cuss and I'd never know)

So I can't say stuff like, 'I'm in love with ------" because they could be reading this.

Y'know?

But I will say this; the raccoon's not over the steel lantern under the geosphere for nothin'.

Californ-eye-aye

Where I spend 78% of my time:

Amirite?

Correct me if I'm wrong;

no matter how much sacrifice a person makes, or puts into something..

no matter how many long hours of sweating and bleeding,

no matter how much they give up to give someone else something--

the minute they throw it in said receiver's face--it's worthless.

Right?