You is kind, you is smart, you is important.

I have felt the love God has for me many times in my life, especially when I am feeling the most lost and desolate.




I began school 2 weeks ago today, after a year break. 5 credits at BYU during Spring Semester are equivocal to taking 10 credits, due to the shortened time (7 weeks). One of the classes I am taking is D&C, the first half. I wait-listed for a professor who had extremely high marks on ratemyprofessor.com, prayed I'd get in, & did; though the odds weren't in my favor.


In order to make this blog post coherent, I need to include a fact about my personal life. I don't date. Ever. I've never had a boyfriend, & I've never been in anything even vaguely resembling a relationship. In high school, I thought dating was idiotic; what was the point? You'll never see them after graduation, right?

Once I began college, it seemed a bit more realistic, but not by much. I wasn't attracted to anyone in my classes, and dating someone from my Single's Ward was the stupidest thing imaginable (to me), how awkward would it be after the break up?

As my graduating class began to wed, however, I was often asked, "why aren't you dating anyone?" by my parents, friends, random strangers, etc. I never knew how to answer. Sometimes, I felt like I disappointed my parents; not dating someone. I'd say, "it's not my fault." But sometimes, I'd wonder.




A few months ago, a male friend of mine said to me,


"You're too smart and witty. I'm not saying to dumb it down. Just slow it down. It's super intimidating."


I have never, in my 21 years on this planet, been more offended. I remember getting chills and struggling to sleep that night. I was so hurt. My education was the most important thing to me, & I loved that I was witty. It was literally my favorite part of me, and now someone who I thought was a friend, was telling me it was a hinderance. I didn't know what to do.


Back to that D&C class I had today, & how God showed me, yet again, how much he loves me. As the class was winding down, the professor made a statement. He spoke of a time when some girls who had attended BYU asked their professor why he thought they were unmarried. He said, "some young men are too intimidated by women who are further in their education than they are, and would rather date incoming freshmen." My professor said this when there was literally 2 minutes left of class. As he said it, I froze; I could feel that this was a statement to me, from God. He is everlasting. He is endless. He is the beginning and the end, & he still took the time to let me know, He is aware of me.


I am smart. And yes, I am witty as hell. I have a broad vocabulary; I love to read. I value my education, and I will not apologize for that. I will not change myself to seem more attractive to someone. I am me, and I love it. & I know God does too.