3 Lessons in 3 Weeks

As I approach my month mark here in the Holy Land, I feel humbled by the eye-opening experiences I've had and the lessons I've been tenderly taught by providence. I have been shown the power of true leadership, the value of patience, and the power of motherhood, just to name a few. 

Last week, those of us working for the Ministry of Social Development met with the Secretary General and other directors of different programs we'd be working at. As our names and corresponding directors' were read, there was a sudden outburst from one of the men. Arabic began to be thrown loudly from one end of the table to the other and I sat stunned as the Secretary General and this ministry employee conversed in a language I haven't even begun to get a grasp of. After what felt like a small eternity, the SG turned to us and apologized. He explained that the director was frustrated because the intern he had been assigned didn't speak Arabic & he didn't understand what he was supposed to do with that. Basically, the SG shut him down in the most respectful way. He told us that he explained to this man that they, as employees of the ministry had the opportunity to learn from us, the interns. He spoke about having diplomas and doctorates and certificates, but the fact that none of the directors ever practice their English. He emphasized that this was the time to do that.
After that, the meeting continued and concluded with no incident. The Secretary General's actions however, impressed me long after we left. 

My idea of leadership has been changed in the greatest way. Leadership is not holding your accomplishments over someone's head as leverage. A true leader sees every interaction as an opportunity to learn, regardless of with whom he's interacting with. Anyone can belittle those who seem to know less, but it takes a special sort of power to be able to lower yourself to the level of those that may not have accomplished as much as you, yet. 

Jordan has helped me to see the parts of my character that are weak & ways to improve them. I am not a patient person. I like things to get done the moment they need to be done and I don't like to waste time. The Middle East values relationships more than time, which I'm beginning to understand. My first day working at Waqe3, we walked in around ten minutes to ten. I could feel my anxiety rising as we walked in; surely we'd get in trouble for being late. We were greeted with smiles and after introductions, we were asked to sit. We were brought tea and we conversed for another hour before we even headed back to our work space. I'm learning that 5 minutes sometimes means an hour, or maybe tomorrow, and that's okay. In the United States we've glorified being punctual, even early, regardless of whom we may need to step on to ensure we arrive on time. My rush and haste have no place here in Amman, and I'm grateful for the peace this change has brought to my soul. 

The original game plan was to work at an orphanage. As most of us know, however, man plans & God laughs. I didn't end up having a strong enough spirit to work at the orphanage. For a few days this left me feeling ashamed and depressed. I felt so inadequate & my heart broke that I had let everyone who expected great things from me, down. But I decided to see what I had learned from my experience, rather than allowing it to deprecate my self worth. When I was at the orphanage I realized more than ever the importance of motherhood. I reflected on my own relationship with my angel mother. We didn't have a perfect relationship, I don't think anyone does, but the beautiful reality is, she was there. She kicked me out, she yelled at me, and we fought. But she was there to kick me out, there to yell at me, and there to fight with me and I am so infinitely grateful to her for that. 

Mothers have the most important and powerful job in the world. Their work has been reduced to an almost shameful position, unfortunately. This has been the work of him that opposes good and light. The adversary understands the influence of mothers, and has as a result, attempted to diminish it to a laughable status. We cannot allow this cycle to continue. Mothers teach boys how to respect women. Mothers teach girls how to value their womanhood. Each of us can, and should, respect and honor the title of 'mother', as well as the angel women who possess it. Everyone can honor motherhood. Single women can by honoring the divine potential they have. Single men can, by reminding those women of their divinity when the world tries to get them to forget. Fathers, loving and respecting your wives is the greatest gift you can give your children. Children, take the time to see how truly fortunate you are to have a mother, not everyone does. 

Lead humbly, be patient, and love your mother. 

He who kneels before God can stand before anyone

In my first week in Amman, I’ve reflected on a reoccurring thought: anything is possible with The Lord. The first revelation confirming this fact came as my group sat at a Yemenis restaurant one of the first nights we had all arrived.

“Guys, we’re in the Middle East.”

Various responses of ‘yeah’ and ‘whoops’ rang out in response. But, I don’t think they understood what I was trying to say. I continued, “Guys, we are in the Middle East. Like, what can’t we do?”

Traveling across the world is not something trite for me. It wasn’t something I decided a couple weeks ago. It was a long process that started in November of last year and included a lot of paperwork, luck, persistence, and kind people. For someone like me, living abroad was something I could only daydream about.

God made it a reality.

I struggle with occasional bouts of depression and during my last episode; my mom gave me some wonderful advice, which was re-suggested by Elder Uchtdorf a few weeks later during April General Conference. She told me to be grateful, and record what I was grateful for in my journal. I’ve started something I call “My 3 Gratitude’s” where every night, I write down the 3 things I was most grateful for that day.

This exercise is truly inspired. Sometimes, you have to take the time to praise God, and make an actual note of what He’s done for you. If you’re not careful, you may overlook it. I didn’t think I’d survive exchanging various currencies. But God put 2 kind men in my path at the Frankfurt airport who took the time to explain the process to me, as well as help me attach my adapter to my phone charger so I could get ahold of my parents and let them know I was alive.

When I first arrived in Jordan, my recently diagnosed anxiety was through the roof. I had no idea how I would be able to get from one place to another in a taxi when the little Arabic I had learned over the past 4 months seemed to evaporate into thin air. I felt misplaced and unsure of myself. I decided to go to the grocery store with a couple of people from my group and while I was browsing the pasta, a man approached me. We are told to not be overtly friendly with the men here, as it is against social norm for men and women to be too social in public. But the man looked at me with the biggest smile and said, “Where are you from?!” I hesitated for a moment, but felt the Spirit assure me that it was okay. I responded I was from the United States and the man practically started shedding tears of joy. He immediately started conversing with me in English about how much he loved the U.S. and naming off all the cities he’s gone to. He then started listing all the things I had to do while I was in Jordan. I can’t explain how I felt speaking to this man, other than my heart melted. I felt love emanating from him and I felt the similarity between him and my father’s social habits. Speaking to him reminded me of home, in the sweetest way. When we finished conversing I said, “tasharafna!” which roughly translates to ‘nice meeting you’ and he looked me in the eyes, pointed to himself and said,

“Me more. Me more.”

In that moment, during that time, I needed that interaction more than anything. God knew it, and He provided it.

This morning we headed to Dabouq for a bike ride. Now, I know I’m not an athlete, and rumor had it this bike ride was about 15 miles long and included a lot of big, uphill roads. I thought about this a lot. This didn’t sound like something that I would enjoy. When talking to my parents last night they encouraged me to do it. As I arose this morning I wondered what on earth I was getting myself into. As weird as it sounds, I felt calm because I prayed about it. I prayed to God to give me the strength to take part in this physical feat. A little voice in my head reminded me that if I kept eating multiple bags of chips and cookies every week, it didn’t matter how hard I prayed; but I maintained my conviction that anything was possible with God.

I wish I could illustrate how difficult the bike ride was for me. Before we started the woman in charge stated that it was the “intermediate/advanced” ride and I felt myself die a little inside. There was a bus that stayed behind the end of the line in case anyone couldn’t do it, to pick them up and let them ride the rest of the way. The path was long. It was so, so, so, excruciatingly long. It seemed every time I rode down a large hill, there were 2 larger uphill treks awaiting me. There were so many times that I wanted to get on that cursed bus that stayed annoyingly close behind me, but I refused.

As I continued I saw to the right of me, a body of water and another section of land that I came to find out were the Dead Sea and Palestine/Israel. That alone made the body trembling experience worth it, for me. Seeing with my eyes the land of God. When I finally completed the bike ride, there was a mountain, Machaerus, that my group decided to go check out. Of course, after an intensive, multiple-hour long bike ride, the first thing everyone decided to do was hike a mountain. But as I approached the bottom, a sign read the description of the location, which was believed to be where John the Baptist was beheaded. It has been truly unreal to be in the land where so many of the things we read about in the scriptures occurred.

I’ve fallen in love with this country. It is so rich in history and so beautiful, in millions of ways. As I sat on the bus heading home I marveled at His power. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked out the window to the humble countryside. Nothing is impossible for Him.

He can help me battle 18.2 (!!!) miles of uphill roads.

He can bring the everlasting gospel to the Middle East.

I know without Him I am nothing & with him I can do anything.