The Demise of Families

I have always prided myself on my inability to cry. 
Many times I've found myself in an audience of people staring at a movie screen, when a sudden sniffle reveals that almost everyone around me is weeping and I start to rack my brain to figure out which sad part I missed. 
I used to think this ineptitude of lamenting meant I was insensitive, but I've recently learned that it's not that nothing makes me cry, it's that only certain things matter enough to me to evoke that emotion. 

This week I began my 11th "first day of school", and as I sat through each of my classes, I felt a growing anticipation for the semester that lay ahead. As my last class started, Family Sociology, we began going around the class and finding out more about each other. The professor asked us to tell the class our name, our place in our family, and the status of our family, for the sake of the content we'll be studying. Each person stood and shared a little information about themselves, but as I sat in my anxiety, dreading my turn, I realized the pattern of what was being said. More and more of my colleagues were stating "my parents are divorced" than "my parents are married". My turn was rapidly approaching and as I looked at my professor with pleading, tear-welled eyes I said, "can I just sit?" He had taught me in a previous class last year, and he knew me, so he said it was fine, and we continued the exercise. It became ironic, after a few minutes, if your parents were married. 

Ironic.

As in, funny. I distinctly remember one girl saying her name, where she was from, and then joking, "and my parents are actually married", which produced an eruption of laughter. I sat in my chair and cried through the rest of the class. The fact that a successful marriage is a joke, is heartbreaking to me. The leniency and blind acceptance of broken families is troubling to me. I understand the need for divorce if someone finds themselves in a situation that is full of abuse, and I'm not so ignorant as to believe that there isn't a time and place for it, but surely not all the time? Certainly not more than not? 

I am distraught at the reality we find our world in, and it hurts me to think that the adversary is winning. Too often, the family is pushed aside for work, friends, vices, pleasures, and every other distraction. L. Tom Perry spoke on the importance of the family in April 2003, 

"In a world of turmoil and uncertainty, it is more important than ever to make our families the center of our lives and the top of our priorities. "

I don't want to give the wrong impression: I have been blessed with a wonderful family and I feel infinitely grateful and humbled to be a part of it. But I would be lying if I said that I don't consider myself less adequate for marriage and relationships than my peers who come from parents who are still married. I am constantly wondering what I could possibly bring to the table in a relation when my own family is broken. I feel like any suggestions or ideas I have would be brushed aside because, how would I know? The familiar nightmarish scenario that I think of regularly is one of me at my boyfriend's house meeting his parents for the first time. I see things going well initially, but then his mom turning to me and saying, "Tell us about your family, dear." 
I see myself awkwardly stuttering that my parents are divorced and her saying something to the effect of, "Oh, I'm so sorry", and later saying to her husband I wouldn't be any good for their son, I mean, I come from a broken home. 

I wouldn't blame her. 

The purpose of this entry is to raise an awareness to a growing epidemic. The family is deteriorating and it's happening quickly. We need to take a proactive approach to stop this and consider very seriously the type of future we want for ourselves and those we love. If you're married, and things seem hard, eliminate divorce from your vocabulary. Do not give in to the seemingly simple solution. Work hard. Remember why you chose each other. Pray together. Tell your spouse you love them, often and sincerely. If you're considering marriage, please understand the seriousness of this commitment. The decision you make will influence generations to come. Pray about it. Converse with the Lord about it. Be sure, and then commit yourself irrevocably to the success of your union. 

The family is sacred, and the casual depreciation of it is cause for sorrow.